Nov 30, 2010

You are in bangalore if.....

You are in bangalore if……


 -         You see 1000s of guys with a backpack and an ID card wherever you go
-         You see lakhs of girls with their hair let loose and a sporting strange attitude.
-         Guys carry the backpacks even on weekends; when they are not carrying their laptops to work.
-         People wear ill-fitting clothes and are in constant denial of the fact that they are gaining kilograms.
-         Every Reddy, Kumar and Patil works for a software company.
-         The supposedly ‘expensive’ Volvo buses are crowded but the ‘normal’ buses are empty.
-         The auto drivers earn more than anybody else in the city.
-         The house-owners give stiff competition to the auto-drivers in becoming the richest traders in the city.
-         You have to sign a six page document to rent out a house but sign a two page document to buy one.
-         The rules of notice periods are stringent if you want to leave the house, but relaxed if you want to leave your company.
-         Every bus and billboard will be written in Kannada even if 75% of the people here don’t know the language.
-         You will be always spoken to in Kannada, if you reply back in the broken Kannada that you know, you will get your next reply in your mother tongue. (Bangalore locals have a strange talent of identifying your mother tongue by the way you speak kannada)
-         You are allowed to bargain for 30% of the quoted price and still not let the conscience prick you.
-         Everything seems costly and everyone seem to be cheating you in some way.
-         Sentences like ‘Its very close… about 10kms… it will take just 45 mins for you to reach there’ do not have any hint of sarcasm.
-         You need to plan your travel to the railway station more than you plan your travel to your destination.
-         Talks about .Net, JAVA, hikes and openings are so prevalent that it makes you go sick of being a software engineer.
-         All the places are either _____Halli or ______Palaya or some fancy English name given by the British (Brigade, Richmond etc).
-         Cost of parking and the cost of a movie ticket are more or less the same.
-         It makes you wonder if people just go to the malls to eat why do they have the food court on the top floor.
-         You get McD burgers, KFC chicken, Dominos Pizzas everywhere but do not get a decent dosa anywhere. All the dosas available here are the awful sugary cousins of the real ones back in tamilnadu.
-         You get the combo dishes and wonder what is combined with what?
-         The SUVs rarely have party flags on its bonnet and also rarely carry more than one person.
-         There will be a huge line of traffic caused by a person who is struggling to make a U-turn coz he bought a car before he could learn to drive as his company pays him crazy.
[Written just for fun.. Bangalore has a lot of positives.. great weather.. nice restaurants.. and lot more... ;-)]


Chiju said...

Loved this one! Hilarious! :)

Karmveer sharma said...

liked it!!! very true

R.Shankar said...

Terrific da!

ash G said...

thanks everybody... :)

Chidambaram said...

Fantastic da....

Yes We (எஸ் வி) said...

Nice one Ashwin... It will be very good when u become crazy Bangalore guy n read this... :)

Sheetal said...

very well written.. .very nice post.. :)

balz said...

the best one from u so far!! loved it..

Anonymous said...

awesome dude....100% hilarious !!

Kiran J said...

One of ur best.. Excellent!!!